Maybe Eminem should have remained on hiatus. His new track Crack a Bottle leaves me wondering…is he on crack?
Back in the day, Eminem’s Marshall Mathers CD was one of a select few that was constantly bumped in my ride – his beats never let me down. I think the man is a fantastically talented rapper, so when he decided to go on an extended hiatus a few years back, I was pretty disappointed. With that said, you might understand my excitement today when I heard that Eminem’s new track titled Crack a Bottle featuring Dr. Dre and 50-Cent could be heard online at SPIN Magazine; I was so excited in fact, that I shut down anything near me that made noise and told my friend, “Shhh…this is gonna be good” as I proceeded to hit the play button.
My excitement over Eminem’s new track quickly faded into a look of “What the f…..”?
Crack a bottle starts out with Eminem shouting “Ladies and Gentleman, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…”, (ok, he was right on so far) and with a tempo that you hope will pick up, he proceeds to go on about Slim Shady’s rap sheet containing some amount of murders, assaults and rapes — Huh? Is bragging about the number of rapes you’ve committed the new thug-shock-value-statement? I guess just saying you “murdered a fool” isn’t good enough anymore.
The most ridiculous part of Crack a bottle is during Eminem’s introduction of 50-Cent – his name is overly white-breaded to sound phonetically correct. Hey, I’m white and even I know it’s pronounced FIDDY – geez!
Crack the bottle literally goes no-where. The dead tempo never picks up; instead it flat-lines to the point of boring. The chorus, which repeats “Where’s the rubbers? Who’s got the rubbers?” while it does promote safe sex, also promotes dead lyrics. There is no flow, no clever lyrics and certainly no old-school Eminem style; Hell, there’s barely any Dr. Dre or 50-Cent style on this track.
Crack a bottle is mediocre at best and If he keeps up like this, Eminem won’t need those rubbers he’s been looking for; he will have effectively sterilized his career.
Photo Source: SPIN Magazine
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THIS is what I have been waiting for?? The lyrics are terrible, and it sounds like it was recorded in someone’s garage. This is not the Eminem I grew to love! Will the REAL Slim Shady PLEASE stand up???
Hey, I’ve got a thought – maybe this is all part of some marketing ploy. Put 3 superstars of rap on one cut and punk it. Release it as a “pre-view” to the album, giving it enough time to snowball in bad press. Remember, there’s no such thing as bad press – it’s called publicity.
Then, when the actual release hits, maybe he’ll take another track to bag on his own work & the reviewers. Saying something like “you really believed that was my best?” … turning the tables in his favor – hyping the next album.
That’s what I’m waiting for. Cause, if this is really all we can expect from Eminem’s next release, we all might wanna call ourselves rappers and release some junk, it might actually sound better than this garbage.
@ Sinda – Thanks! I had a good laugh at your comment “Will the REAL Slim Shady PLEASE stand up???” — Tell me about it!
@ Muewsik – Let’s hope your theory is validated by the time the CD is released, because this song is whack.
This song is really stupid. I couldn’t take listening to more than half of it. Good call.
Felt. Track is horrible, dude needs to reiterate his game plan for his long awaited return.
he has to make something to play on the radio to get recogiztion so dont complain hes making money cuz i kno i would sing that song for the money hes making
If you think that song is insane then listen to his album “Relapse”… hes coming out with a new album called “Relapse Refill” that should be equally disgusting lyric wise.